Polyvagal theory, developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, and the idea of our "windows of tolerance," explained by Dr. Dan Siegel, are both concepts that help us understand how our nervous systems respond to threats. Understanding our bodies' and minds' responses to how safe we feel can help us figure out what coping skills help us get through challenging thoughts and determine how we interact with others.
Polyvagal theory explains how our nervous system operates depending on our perceived safety. Think of it as if our brains and bodies encounter red, yellow, or green traffic lights as we go through our day. How quickly your trac lights switch from green to yellow or red depends on traumas or life experiences you have been through. However, none of these states are wrong since we do not control our autonomic nervous system.
Our window of tolerance is the point between traffic light states when we can think clearly and feel that the challenges we encounter are manageable. Feeling overwhelmed or disconnected is a normal stress reaction. Checking in with our nervous systems is not to prevent us from ever getting stressed; it is human to be stressed. Using polyvagal theory and the window of tolerance, we can better recognize when we are approaching limits and what we can do to bring ourselves back to what feels manageable.
1. Safe and Social, Ventral Vagal Mode (Green Light Zone): When we feel safe, we have a green light to proceed, interact, and make choices. The green light zone is when our bodies are calmest, and our minds can think the most clearly. We can connect with others, think clearly, and handle tasks and problems without feeling overwhelmed.
2. Threatened or Sympathetic Mode (Yellow Light Zone): When something stressful or threatening happens, our bodies switch into this mode to keep us alert, like a yellow light telling us a red light is soon to come. Our heart rates get faster, and other body systems respond differently. Our thoughts often feel faster or unclear. Most of us feel the urge to run (flight), defend ourselves (fight), or make others happy (fawn). Our bodies are trying to protect us from danger. Long-term decisions and complex tasks are difficult in the yellow light zone because our minds and bodies prepare to defend us.
3. Shutdown or Dorsal Vagal Mode (Red Light Zone): If the stress gets too intense or lasts too long, our bodies and minds can shut down or freeze, like slamming on the breaks at a red light. In the red light zone, we feel hopeless and overwhelmed or become numb and unsure of our emotions. Our systems are overloaded, and we are trying to protect ourselves from any more hurt or future danger. In this sense, we feel trapped with no way out and choose behaviors that shelter us from the threat.
So How Do We Cope?
We can decide how to cope with a stressor depending on our "zone." Different coping skills are helpful at different times. Here are some examples.
1. Green Light Zone: When in the green light zone, we can focus on growth and connection. Practices like mindfulness using apps like Insight Timer or Calm, gratitude like journaling, and connecting with others work well here because we feel calm and open to new experiences. Many people coming to therapy who are not finding ways to be in the green light zone are trying to find coping skills that help them switch from the yellow light or red light zone to being in the green light zone more often.
2. Yellow Light Zone: When we feel anxious or worried, our bodies are on high alert. The key here is to bring us back to where we feel in the green light zone without having to get into the red light zone for too long. When we feel angry in the yellow light zone, writing down our anger and tearing it up or moving (like working out or walking) can help. When we feel sad or rejected in the yellow light zone, techniques like diaphragmatic breathing while counting backward, hugging a pet, or finding ways to laugh can help.
3. Red Light Zone: In the red zone, we may feel numb, frozen, or completely disconnected. Depending on what makes you feel aware of your body, different grounding techniques and self-soothing strategies can help you return to the green light zone. This could involve using techniques to increase the heart rate, such as bilateral tapping or dancing. On the other hand, some of us prefer throwing a ball back and forth with a roommate or friend, using fidget toys, or different strategies in this zone. These coping skills gently re-engage our nervous systems to get out of the red light zone.
Bringing It Back Together
Polyvagal theory and the window of tolerance both help us understand why we feel the way we do in certain situations. Whether we are feeling safe (green light zone), stressed (yellow light zone), or overwhelmed (red light zone), our nervous systems are trying to protect us. None of these states are bad, but spending too much time stressed or overwhelmed can hurt our mental health in the long run. When we know which zone we are in, we can more easily gauge what helps us, either to stay in the green zone or to guide ourselves back to it after we have felt the emotions we deserve to feel.
Understanding these zones helps us see that our reactions are not "wrong," "bad," or "defective"—they are responses depending on the traumas, relationships, and other experiences our bodies and minds have endured. We can use this to empower ourselves with choices about how to cope with difficulties.
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